Brutal Honesty about Spiritual Life

#BeingHuman. Brutal Honesty (part 2) about Spiritual Life. As I continue to reflect on the impact of the ongoing full-scale war on me, on us, -- allowing you to look inside through the broken windows of our souls, -- I want to share with you Part Two from my diary on Brutal Honesty. These are my three temptations and challenges of a grown and "more-or-less" mature Christian (as I thought of myself before the full-scale war) in spiritual life and how I cope with them, trying to remain human in the Image of God.

1. I AM TEMPTED TO QUESTION MY FAITH IN GOD'S GOODNESS OR PRESENCE DUE TO THE INTENSE SUFFERING AND WAR'S DEVASTATION. 

I often question in my diary how a loving and all-powerful God can allow such immense suffering and destruction to occur in our country, nation, and people. I feel abandoned or even betrayed by God and struggle to reconcile my beliefs and theological doctrines (especially from a systematic theology) with a benevolent Deity with the horrors of war. It leads me, frankly speaking, very frequently to question my faith, my trust in God's goodness. I also struggle to see evidence of God's presence or intervention amid the chaos and violence of war. I pray for peace and protection but see no tangible results. This lack of perceived divine intervention leads me to question my faith in God's presence. When I meet with the witnesses of firsthand acts of extreme violence, cruelty, and injustice during the war, when I witness myself the results of the ongoing war, I struggle to understand how God could allow such evil to exist and persist. This leads me to question my faith in God's justice and question whether God is truly in control or whether humanity is simply at the mercy of random chance and the whims of evil people… 

What do I learn from questioning my faith in God's goodness or presence due to war's intense suffering and devastation? I seek comfort and support from fellow believers, with others who share my faith. I am searching for people with whom I get a sense of community as a place to find comfort, support, hope, and strength. I also turn to the Scriptures and prayer. Reading the Word and engaging in prayer as my "battlefield" helps me reinforce my faith and provide a sense of hope and comfort, at least temporarily. Reflecting on the promises of God's love and care for humanity helps a little bit, not much, to restore a sense of trust and hope in God's goodness and presence, even while suffering and devastation when I confess that I understand nothing why and what the Lord is doing in this chaos. I keep myself engaged in acts of service and compassion, especially with the internally displaced people in Ukraine and the refugees "from the other side…." Volunteering during the ongoing war helps me restore a sense of purpose and meaning in the face of adversity. I do not want to lose this sense because of my workload. With all respect to my job, helping others through philanthropy during the war provides me a sense of connection to something larger than oneself and helps me rekindle my hope and faith in God's goodness and presence during war and suffering.

2. I AM TEMPTED TO BECOME DISILLUSIONED WITH THE "CHURCH" AND RELIGIOUS INSTITUTIONS THAT SEEM POWERLESS OR INEFFECTIVE IN THE FACE OF VIOLENCE AND DESTRUCTION.

I feel that the religious institutions and leaders (especially Russian Orthodox and Evangelical) have failed to address the war's root causes and take action to bring about compassion and identification with the Christians in Ukraine. I am sad that for so many Christians in Russia, the war is a holy crusade or a righteous battle against evil forces, which they identify as Western Christendom, and interpret the protection of traditional Christian values as a call to arms and believe that violence and aggression are necessary to defend their faith and secure victory of "the Russian Gospel." I feel very frustrated that they are embracing the extremist ideology of the Russian World that offers simplistic solutions and scapegoats for their spiritual and national problems. I feel sad that they force us for peace and reconciliation and demand our silence. I am so frustrated and sad that the Russian Church has lost its prophetic voice and has become too timid or complacent in the face of injustice and oppression. This leads me, I have to confess, to a sense of cynicism and apathy towards the Church and religious institutions in Russia and a belief that they are no longer relevant or effective in addressing the needs of the people in the Mission of God… 

What do I learn from frustration with the Church, religious institutions, and structures in Russia that seem powerless and ineffective in the face of violence and destruction in Ukraine? I learned to look beyond the institutionalized "Church," whatever it means. While religious institutions and structures can be crucial in providing spiritual guidance and community, they are not the only source of faith and hope. It's critical to remember that Christianity is ultimately about a personal relationship with the One Who created me in His image and calls me to follow His character... and that this relationship can be nurtured through individual practices such as prayer, meditation, and Scripture reading. Focusing on my relationship with Jesus gives me hope and purpose, even when religious institutions and structures seem ineffective. I also try to be engaged in activism and social justice work with the representatives of other Traditions of Faith. Christianity has a substantial social justice and activism tradition, and engaging in these activities helps me restore a sense of purpose and hope. Working towards peace and reconciliation in the "Dialogue in Action" initiative, supporting refugees and other vulnerable populations, and advocating for policies that promote human dignity help me put my faith into action and provide me a sense of hope and meaning in the face of violence and destruction. It helps me restore a sense of faith in the power of the Church as the Community of Hope and religious institutions as the faith communities to effect positive change in this broken world on the Silent Planet. 

3. I AM TEMPTED TO ABANDON SPIRITUAL PRACTICES OR COMMUNITY IN THE FACE OF OVERWHELMING CIRCUMSTANCES.

Working with the internally displaced people in Ukraine and the refugees from "the other side," I feel overwhelmed by the trauma and chaos of the war and find it difficult to focus on spiritual practices such as prayer or meditation. I feel that my faith is no longer relevant or helpful in extreme circumstances, and I lose my motivation to engage in spiritual practices. This leads me to a sense of spiritual emptiness and disconnection from my faith community and, ultimately, from the Community of Hope. I also experience a crisis of faith due to the intense emotional and not rarely physical devastation because of what I witnessed during the war through the other eyes. No, I do not compare my experience as a civilian to the experience of those on the front line or those who were tortured, arrested, imprisoned, etc. But in our meetings and conversations, they often question God's existence or the relevance of their beliefs in the face of such extreme human suffering. They feel that their faith has failed them or that God abandoned them, and thus withdraw from spiritual practices or their faith community. With the constant secondary trauma, I feel powerless working with such people and also very often keep away from spiritual practices, sinking in the doubts, questions, and "Why, the Lord?" 

What do I learn from the emptiness when I abandon spiritual practices or community in the face of overwhelming circumstances? I try to prioritize prayer and meditation. My prayer and meditation are my battlefields with the Lord, like the River for Jacob over the Night. I try to set aside a specific time, although not each day, but at least a couple of times a week for prayer, meditation, and my "battles." I learn to stay connected with my faith community, friends, colleagues, and family. Even if it's impossible to physically attend church or spiritual gatherings, staying connected with my family and faith community provides me a sense of support and belonging. I attempt to reach them via phone, text, or social media, not about work… but about my... our "battles..." Finally, I try to focus as much as possible on the bigger picture. Amid overwhelming circumstances, losing sight of the bigger picture -- the Mission of God -- is so easy. However, focusing on the ultimate goal of serving God and living a life of purpose and meaning helps me provide hope and motivation. It is why I remind myself daily: our Mission has not changed… has not.. not yet.. 

SO AS A CIVILIAN, WHERE DO I RUN FROM THE TEMPTATIONS DURING THE ONGOING WAR? -- "I WILL GO AHEAD OF YOU INTO GALILEE." 

Christ appoints a place for meeting with His disciples after His resurrection: Galilee. He knows and is sure that He will find them there, physically exhausted by fruitless fishing all night long. Even before His death on the cross and before His resurrection, Jesus addresses the eleven disciples and says to them: "You will all fall away, for it is written: 'I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered.' But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee." (Mark 14: 27-28). 

After Jesus' resurrection, the disciples still felt lost: too many radical changes and upheavals in a short period of time. Although the apostles have already had two meetings with the Risen One, Peter turns to the six disciples of Christ next to him and says to them: "I am going to fish." They tell him, "We also go with you" (John 21: 1-3). 

Every so often, I find myself at the meeting place designated by Christ not because I have believed Him, remembered His words, followed Him, or was looking for Christ at a particular meeting place. Every so often, I find myself at the meeting place designated by Jesus because I run not to Him but away from Him, not understanding what is happening in me, to me, and around me. I run away, even though I have already had meetings with the Risen One. 

My sincere run away from Him is sometimes the path to Christ, the path to the place of meeting with Him, where He will take care of me, His crippled disciple: "When they had gone ashore, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread." (John 21:9). He will take care of me and then will ask: "Taras, do you love Me?" 

The path with Jesus is the daily meeting and journey of two friends who have a relationship of trust and love on their "battlefields." Even when I am tired and burdened, when I fail or run away from uncertainty, brokenness, pain... I run away… toward Him... He made an appointment for me on that path to take care of me and assure me: "I continue to love you. Do you love Me?" I believe, my Lord, that even when I run away from You these days, I run toward You, for "where will I go from Your Spirit, and where will I flee from Your presence?" (Psalm 139:7).
-- 
Taras N. Dyatlik, Ukraine
1 June 2023

US Memorial Day: The Sounds of War Echo

To our friends and partners in the United States of America... The sounds of war echo around us, and news of casualties frequently arrives at our doorsteps. It often feels like a dark and hopeless time. Yet even amid this strife, we remember that a great cloud of witnesses surrounds us: the saints and martyrs who have run the race of faith before us. They cheer us on as we continue the fight for justice and righteousness. The sacrifices of the fallen remind us that freedom is a prize that must be continually won.

On this Memorial Day, we also remember the "cloud of witnesses" from Hebrews 12 who have gone before us and now surround us as we run the race of faith: «Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus.»

We live in a world where war is an ever-present reality, and our fallen heroes are a testament to the courage and dedication of those who have gone before us. While we grieve the loss of our loved ones, we are strengthened by the knowledge that their legacy will live on in our hearts and in our actions. The cloud of witnesses calls to us: «Be strong and persevere! You do not struggle alone. Fix your eyes on the Author and Perfecter of our faith, Who endured the cross for the joy set before him. Take up your cross daily, and follow in His way.» 

Though the road ahead is uncertain, we find courage, knowing that the Lord of Hosts fights for us in this reality and the spiritual one. His love pierces through the fog of war. His eternal arms sustain us through each trial and loss. The battle belongs to the Lord. The dead in Christ shall rise first. Though they have passed from our sight, they live on, waiting for the final victory over the last enemy. May their memories spur us on to continued faithfulness, relying on the One who is able to keep us from falling. The God of Peace will soon crush the Ancient Enemy under our feet.

On this day of remembrance, we give thanks for the cloud of witnesses who have lightened our path. We honor their sacrifice and hold fast to the hope of resurrection in Christ Jesus, our Lord. Let us honor their memory by continuing to run our own race with perseverance, keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. Let us also pray for peace in Ukraine and other countries torn by the war, that the sacrifices of those who have gone before us may not be in vain. May we never forget the cloud of witnesses who have paved the way for us, and may we always strive to live our lives in a way that honors their memory and brings glory to God.

For those of us living in Ukraine with ongoing full-scale war, this cloud of witnesses includes our own family members, friends, colleagues, and fellow citizens who have made the ultimate sacrifice in service to our freedom. They have run their race of faith with courage and endurance, standing as a testament to the power of sacrifice and love. Our mission has not changed. May peace be with us as we continue to fight for justice and righteousness, keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus and relying on the strength and comfort of the great cloud of witnesses who surround us.
--
Taras N. Dyatlik, Ukraine
29 May 2023

We are all vulnerable to pain and hardship

Today is the 26th of May. Thirteen massive and brutal Russian missile attacks on Ukraine and various major cities have left the country in a state of constant terror. The attacks occur every other night, usually under the cover of darkness, shattering the peace that we all long for. The blaring sirens outside your window prevent you from sleeping peacefully like your dog does, leaving you feeling exhausted and drained in the morning.

The impact of war on the human spirit is profound, and it is impossible to suffer perfectly. Even Christ, the epitome of strength and resilience, experienced moments of despair, despite never once faltering in His commitment to His mission. Suffering is a universal human experience that is both deeply personal and profoundly transformative. While suffering not perfectly... we remain made in His image... even if we cannot always reflect His image at specific steps from Gethsemane to Golgotha... It reminds us that we are made in the image of God and that we are all vulnerable to pain and hardship.

In times of suffering, it's natural to want to retreat into ourselves and hide from the world. But as humans made for community, we learn to resist this temptation and reach out to others who are also struggling. In doing so, we embody the image of God and minister to one another, finding solace and comfort in our shared pain and fellowship.... Reach out to others in your suffering... who are also hurting on the way to Eternity through the Valley of Death at the Silent Planet... Reach out to others in your anguish. Our shared agony produces fellowship amid the war, even though it may sound peculiar...

Do not despair in your suffering: moments of doubt and anguish are human, as we remain made in His image... Our suffering is temporary, even if it takes a dozen years... even though it is painful... God created us for Eternity, ultimately... As we cry out to Him in our pain and despair, we are free to be human, expressing who we are, and what we experience and feel... only in that humanity can we find comfort and peace in His love and grace...

Suffering leads us to personal growth and transformation. It is the Way Up... When we face who we are in the war context or arduous circumstances, we can learn about the distance between God and us that His love and grace cover as the Bridge... The way to Golgotha is the Way Up, not Down.. The Way Down is from the Cross through our Death on the Way to Resurrection... While we are alive and suffering, it is the Way Up... Even if someone else is carrying your cross to the place of your crucifixion... As a human being in the image of God, I am called to grow and mature on the Way Up continually... to become more like Him... even in suffering... even in death... even in the resurrection...

Remaining human in the image of God means acknowledging our vulnerability and limitations while also recognizing the inherent dignity and worth of every human being. It means responding to suffering with compassion, empathy, and a willingness to help those in need: on the way to Golgotha, Jesus noticed weeping women and stopped to comfort them... As human beings made in the image of God, we are called to follow Christ's example of this sacrificial love: amid our pain and struggles to pay attention to those who.... suffer less than we do.... 

We look for lessons in our suffering that we can write in our Road Journal. Difficult times shape and mold our character, strengthen our faith through overcoming doubts, and teach us compassion through paying attention to those who suffer less... or more... As human beings in the image of God, we are called to trust in His promises and to look forward to the day when He will wipe away every tear, which so many people do not see because of their joy, or because of our blood... 

We suffer imperfectly, but... with God's help, we persevere... we will persevere... Our Mission has not changed... Peace be with you, and I wish you a Silent Night.. 

-- -- 

Taras N. Dyatlik, Ukraine

26 May 2023