- Sorry, but what you share sounds like brutal honesty; could you please soften your speech to be more sensitive to people who do not live in Ukraine?
- We are so devastated by the news about the war in Ukraine; please do not share so much negative information; we want to hear more positive thoughts from you.
Let me share with you that the difference between being devastated by the news about the war and the realities of the war is quite significant. What leads to brutal honesty is the reality of the war's tragic impact on the people going through it. Brutal honesty in wartime does not mean insensitivity... It means something different...
First, brutal honesty is the result of the profound emotional impact. Hearing about war through news or social media can be emotionally distressing, causing sadness, fear, or anxiety. However, experiencing the realities of war firsthand (like in Ukraine, Syria, and Sudan) can be even more traumatic, causing intense emotional distress and leading to symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The realities of danger, loss of life, injury, etc., create a far greater emotional toll. People outside these countries expect those impacted by the war to be normal, behave and speak normally, and be more sensitive to the rest of the Community of Hope. However, we need to realize that the whole phenomenon of Normality is under big question for the people in the war. It is not about the Christian life but about the forms of expressions of the inside out during the war...
Second, brutal honesty is the result of a sense of agency. When hearing about war through the news, people may feel helpless or powerless to do anything about the situation. However, those who experience the realities of war may have a greater sense of agency and may actively seek ways to protect themselves and their loved ones. It is about being less comfortable or being "less alive." It is about having one dish less than five or having a meal. It is sleeping poorly because of the anxieties of the peaceful life or being unable to sleep during the shelling or endless air raid alerts... The war disrupts your life, and every aspect of your life is disrupted - unable to work as usual, go to school as usual, have access to supplies or services as usual, many choose to flee to another area, etc. Life is upended... While news coverage can quickly move on to other topics, those who have experienced the realities of war continue to struggle with the aftermath for years to come... for some, it is for many years to come...
Third, brutal honesty is the result of the availability of access to resources. Those who hear about war through the news may have access to resources such as mental health services, charitable donations, or other forms of support. However, those who experience the realities of war may have limited access to resources, including food, water, shelter, medical care, education, etc. News reports convey loss and hardship, but experiencing the war means facing the loss of loved ones (two three times a week from the beginning of the full-scale war in your narrowing circle of relationships), injury, displacement from home like the whole team of the Tavria Christian Institute (and others), lack of resources, and other immense hardships firsthand... There is usually much help in the beginning for the short term, and many people from outside want to give as much and as soon as possible toward immediate needs. But after a year, for example, the reality comes. And when we speak about it, it is not a sign of being unthankful. On the contrary, we are thankful for the level of kissing the feet. But it does not change a country's economic and social realities during the war. And many followers of Jesus Christ, praying Psalm 23, often look for better places with more resources for their families to survive outside the country...
Fourth, brutal honesty is the result of a risk of physical harm. Hearing about war through the media may not pose a direct physical threat to an individual's safety. However, experiencing the realities of war can put people at risk of physical harm, including injury, illness, or death... immediate death... There are constant risks to safety, security, and even survival amid the war... Once, my dog and I became unwilling witnesses to missile attacks on the energy infrastructure of our city. Two missiles flew over our heads, 100-150 meters away, one after the other. In a few seconds, two powerful explosions made my ears pop. The dog cowered to the ground in fear, and I didn't even have time to say the first two words of the Lord's Prayer. From my trips during the war, I realized: that we die as we are, and we will never be worthy enough, holy enough, and sinless enough to knock on the door of the Kingdom of God under these conditions. That is why I appreciate the incarnation of Christ because He has the experience of being human and therefore understands everything that is in my heart and head here and now. Because of this, I accept His grace, even when I have to die unexpectedly as I am. I will never be exemplary, holy, worthy, or sinless enough. Therefore, I hide under the umbrella of His grace, like Westie did when he was scared when we came to the apartment, under my "wing," where he feels safe to be who he is... I even do not dare to speak about those who survived Mariupol and Bucha's (and the residents of other cities and towns) atrocities...
Fifth, brutal honesty is the result of the difference between the levels of understanding. For example, hearing about war through news or social media may provide some level of understanding about the conflict, but it can also be limited or biased. On the other hand, experiencing the realities of war can provide a more comprehensive understanding of the conflict, including its causes, impacts, and complexities. However, this understanding may come at a tremendous personal cost, including trauma and loss...
In summary, while being devastated by the news of war and the realities of war may elicit similar emotions, the latter creates an incomparably greater depth of anguish, trauma, loss, and struggle. The perspectives gained from truly living through such times can never be conveyed through media alone. The impacts are simply not equivalent. It is where the phenomenon of brutal honesty comes from: from the cry to the Lord and the outside world, the cry of pain, the cry for Hope... Brutal honesty is not about being insensitive, it is about breaking the windows of your soul to allow others to look inside, like Job... Johan... David... and other heroes of faith who challenged God and the People of God with their cries and questions when their faith's essence and foundations were tested to the limits of being human... in the image of God... Peace be with you, the People of the Bridge, and I wish you a Silent Night..
TO BE CONTINUED... I hope you are not offended with what you see through the broken windows… We try to remain human, normal, sensitive despite the challenges we daily go through 428 days of the ongoing full-scale war…
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Taras N. Dyatlik, UKRAINE
27 April 2023
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