Behind the Headlines: 580 Days of Unimaginable Ordeal

#BeingHuman. Brutal honesty, part 4. Long read, you may safely skip it… Behind the Headlines: 580 Days of Unimaginable Ordeal… The people of Ukraine, civilians and soldiers, church ministers, and theological educators continue to face the harsh reality of death and destruction daily. It has been over a year, the 580th day today, since Russia launched its full-scale invasion of Ukraine...

During this time, those living here have witnessed immense death and suffering. Living in Ukraine amidst a full-scale war is an experience that defies the imagination of those who have never witnessed the horrors of the ongoing full-scale war firsthand. While we strive to remain human amidst the chaos, bridging the gap between our experiences and the expectations of those outside Ukraine who are not directly impacted by this full-scale war becomes increasingly difficult...

The stress of living under such constant threat takes a severe psychological and emotional toll. Our lives have been profoundly disrupted by the realities of war - from not knowing if our loved ones will return home safely to shortages of various economic supplies as infrastructure and supply chains break down. The prolonged exposure to violence and loss profoundly impacts our mental health. Anxiety and depression have become all too common among the population and us. We struggle to sleep at night, haunted by the memories of what we have seen and experienced. We are constantly on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop...

The relentless and intensive conscription takes a toll on our mental and emotional well-being. Mass conscription efforts mean many families have multiple members serving in battle not since February 2022 but since the Spring of 2014. It has devastated our communities and left so many wives, widows, orphans, and aged parents vulnerable without adequate protection and provision. During this ongoing war, we strive to hold onto our humanity in the image of the Other. Still, it becomes more and more increasingly challenging after one year and a half as we struggle to meet the expectations of those who live outside of Ukraine and are not directly impacted by the ongoing war…

As civilians, we are surrounded by death daily – the deaths of our soldiers at the front lines, the deaths of innocent civilians caught in the crossfire, the deaths of our relatives, friends, colleagues, students, graduates, acquaintances, and the constant threat of shelling and bombing, day and night. A multitude of devastating consequences marks our lives during a full-scale war. Every single day, we mourn the loss of our loved ones who have made the ultimate sacrifice at the front lines. Their deaths leave a void in our hearts that can never be filled again…

The constant threat of shelling and bombing instills a deep sense of fear within us, day and night. We live in a state of constant alertness, never knowing when the next attack of the "Russian roulette" might occur. The trauma our nation endures leaves lasting scars on our minds and souls. Amid this war, it is easy to become bitter and angry, to lash out at those who do not understand our struggles. But we try our best to remain human in the image of the Other and hopeful like the followers of the Way, even after 580 days of the ongoing full-scale war…

Many of our families (millions!) have been uprooted from their homes and forced to flee to safer regions within Ukraine or seek refuge in neighboring countries. The disruption caused by displacement further compounds the challenges we face. But despite all of this, we continue to push forward. We work hard to provide for our families, keep our children in school, in Ukraine, or abroad, and maintain some semblance of normalcy in our lives, whatever it means for you or us. We support each other, pray together, and hold onto Hope that this war will end one day and we can rebuild our lives… it is why we view ourselves as the Community of Hope during the ongoing full-scale Russian war against Ukraine...

The war has also taken a heavy toll on the economy, resulting in job losses, inflation, and limited access to necessities. The daily struggle of the millions of our citizens for survival adds to our burden. The constant threat of violence has made it difficult for us to feel safe, trust our government, or have any sense of normalcy. We live in a state of constant alert, never knowing when the next attack will come. Some of us have "better paid" jobs during the war. But every penny every month is going to support our friends and relatives at the frontline, our friends and relatives and colleagues who lost their jobs, housing, and possessions because of the ongoing full-scale war, or our friends and strangers among the millions of internally displaced persons. Any savings for us means the losses of lives that could be saved through food supply or supporting our beloved ones at the frontlines...

It is difficult to express our struggles' depth to those outside of Ukraine who are not directly impacted by this war. They often ask us why we don't just leave, why we don't give up. But the truth is, we cannot leave. It is our home, these are our families, it is our land, and we will do whatever needs to be done to protect them. In this environment, simply trying to function daily and meet basic needs and job descriptions feels akin to a herculean task. And yet, beyond survival, we strive to retain our humanity and the Image of the Other. We continue caring for the sick and elderly. We offer refuge and aid to the displaced. We maintain spiritual and educational practices that sustain our Church and national identity and moral fortitude. We try to carefully look into our post-war future through the broken windows of our souls as theological educators...

At the same time… living in a war-torn country, we often find it challenging to meet the expectations of those who live outside of Ukraine and are not directly affected by the war. Forgive us that we cannot be expected to think, speak, or act as we once did in peacetime. Although we try as hard as possible to do our best to respect your pace and expectations regarding our life and work and ministry and normality (please forgive me for the "you" and "us" language), our frame of reference has been forcibly rewritten by full-scale war, constant bombardment, and ongoing losses. As such, we may look or come across outsiders as more direct, hardened, or tactless compared to before the invasion. We may not notice it. You hear and see better than us...

While we yearn for your empathy and understanding, we also seek your comprehension regarding the depth of our experiences... Recognizing that our realities are far removed from the comfort and safety that others may enjoy in the so-called "Western Christendom" under NATO protection and shield is essential.

As outsiders looking in, we pray and expect that those outside Ukraine exercise patience and understanding regarding us. The Ukrainian people, particularly church ministers and theological educators, often face judgment and misunderstanding from those unaffected directly by the ongoing war, especially from the Slavic immigrant circles...

For example, "some people" expect us to be more forgiving of our enemies because we are, in their eyes, not spiritual enough under the threats of the ongoing war. They expect us to be more optimistic about the future because we sound depressed and uncomfortable for them. They expect us to be more resilient because we look too brokenhearted for them. And so on... You can continue the list...

But we are only humans, like you... exactly like you... Are we allowed to feel angry, hurt, and scared? Are we allowed to grieve our losses although we constantly postpone our grief due to the enormous death toll? Are we allowed to be traumatized by the war? Sometimes it feels like no…

We kindly ask for your patience and understanding. We ask that you not judge us when we do not meet your expectations. We are doing our best to survive and to remain human in the image of the Stranger on our way during this terrible war. It will never be the same as it used to be before the full-scale invasion. And our future in the Church and theological educational realm belongs not only to us, the Community of Hope in Ukraine, but to us, the Body of Christ that is faithful not to the Russian World, or "Let us make ___ great again," but to the Kingdom of Trust, Hope, and Love... You may not want to be a part of our future in Ukraine, but... we want to be a part of your future in the Kingdom of God... together with you...

Recognizing the complexities of our situation and extending empathy can help bridge the gap between the experiences of us Ukrainians and those living in more peaceful regions. The ongoing war has shaped us in ways that may seem unfamiliar or even awkward to ourselves… as well as to those in Western Christendom… Instead of rushing to conclusions, let us acknowledge together the unique challenges we face during the ongoing full-scale war on the European continent, the most tragic war after the Second World War… let us go through all the challenges together… let us learn where God is in all this chaos together... as the Community of Hope…

Living in Ukraine during a full-scale war is an unimaginable ordeal, where death and devastation have become an unfortunate and unbearable part of our daily lives. However, you may not see it from a distance or on the surface because we also try to behave "normally" whenever and wherever it is possible. As we navigate this treacherous path, we implore our partners and global friends to be patient with us, if possible, until the war ends... whenever it ends...

Let us remember that Ukrainian Christians and theological educators, despite their perceived awkwardness, are simply trying to retain their humanity in the face of overwhelming adversity and the consequences of the ongoing war. We are surrounded by death and destruction day and night for 580 days of the ongoing war, but we are not defeated. We have learned that we are strong, resilient people, as strong as the Body of Christ... and we will get through this together as the Community of Hope...

We will rebuild our lives, communities, churches, seminaries, and country and emerge more vital than ever, regardless of the expectations of outsiders… to fulfill the Mission that has not changed... This war will not last forever. For now, all Ukrainians can do is persevere in Hope, defend their sovereignty, and band together in Christian love and fellowship despite the Russian World death at the frontlines and descending from the skies above us each day...

In times of our hardship, it is essential to remember the words of Psalm 34:18, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Let this reminder encourage you to approach the Ukrainian people, church ministers, and theological educators as those looking and longing for your mission of presence, physical or prayerful, and for His salvation, being brokenhearted and crushed by their experiences. I pray the rest of the world will stand in solidarity with us for however long this ordeal lasts... for however long this terrible Russian war against our country lasts...

Our Mission has not changed. Neither for you, outsiders. Neither for us, in Ukraine... Every day, you and us learn how to follow His Mission, not ours... Peace be with you, your families, and your children, and we wish you Silent Night, Taras N. Dyatlik. \ PS. And forgive us for brutal honesty...